So my news years resolution is one thing and one thing only. This year there will be no fitness programs stuck on my fridge, there will be no marathons entered that I have to cancel 2 days before(like last year) There will be no scaling down on my glass of grapes, Lays or Lindt White chocolate after the kids go to bed (phew) This year my only resolution is to seek MORE of Jesus.
Last year was truly hectic for me. But I did realise that when I lock my eyes on Jesus then things seem to happen in my favour. And even when they don’t, I’m better equipped to deal with them from a place of rest and peace. I reach my full capacity when I am full in Jesus. When I’ve spent my morning with him first, I can go out and get everything done minus the anxiety and stress that tries very hard to get me down.
Yet, even as i dedicate my mornings to my King, my phone still beeps, and you never know, it might just be an emergency! But its just a facebook update and oh my hat, look who’s engaged!? And I totally forgot it was “her” birthday today, I better send a message before I forget like last year! Woops, there it is. I get distracted. Very easily. And its not just my phone’s fault. I will be busy cooking, the phone will ring and after a lovely conversation with my mother about the benefits of swimming, I will stroll down the passage picking up scattered toys just to realise 20 minutes later, that something is burning.
So sometime at the end of last year, Holy Spirit showed me a picture of a girl with doves on her eyes. I quickly made a drawing and found myself deeply drawn to the meaning of this strange image. I vaguely recalled something in Song of Songs about the young man saying to the Sodomite woman that she has “doves eyes” (1:15) Cute. But what does it mean to me?
The plot thickens. Song of songs is not just a biblical love story about a passionate young girl and guy long ago, its a love letter from God, the bridegroom, to his bride, which is you and me! So as I delved deeper, I found that God was actually saying to me and you “You are beautiful, my Darling, beautiful beyond words. Your eyes are like doves behind your veil”
Doves are used many times in the bible as symbols of peace and love (remember Noah and the Holy Spirit descending onto Jesus like a dove as a symbol of God the Fathers love and blessing?)God is saying to us, that we are His bride, that when he looks at me and you, he sees only beauty! He doesn’t see the fact that you are covered in spots and scars of sin. He sees righteousness! Purity! Beauty! NO blemishes! Can you hear your father saying this to you right now?? “You are perfect my beloved, you are beautiful!”
This is my happy place. This place where I hear and know that my Abba Father, who is King of Kings and Lord of Lords, loves me this passionately and unconditionally, despite what I’ve done and the things i struggle with. While relishing in the warmth and safety of this amazing place, I hear God saying to me that he wants me to have doves eyes for Him too. So while I’m telling hubby Donovan about my new revelation, he quickly google’s “doves eyes” and finds this very interesting fact: Biologically, a dove can only focus on one thing at a time, with both its eyes! Due to its limited vision, its sight cannot be easily diverted! So once a dove sets its eyes on something, it doesn’t look away for any reason! aha! It dawns on me, that in light of the revelation of God’s incredible love for me, He is asking that I give him my undistracted, loyal loving gaze. So this then, is my resolution for 2015, to have doves eyes.